Diary about peace and freedom

I have only seen sad and more sad news and pictures about the situation now between Palestine and Israel. Maybe they have truce, but the life of the Palestinians has turned into a living hell.
It makes me feel sick in my stomack.

So I wan't to write to you something happy about my life now.
In my life; there is this man.. He wishes to meet me and see if we would be good to marry.
This situation exites me and scares me aswell. Ofcourse I like him very very much and I feel we could be perfect together, but also scares me; he is not from my country and thinking about moving to strange country without any real friends or family scares me so much! Or the other way around, if he moves to my country, how does he adapt to this very different environment?
What would I do if I had argument with him? Where would I go and with who I would talk about this? Or any problems? Were would be my safetynetwork of friends who listen to all my problems? Or if I need my mom or dad; how could I bear without them?
But then again; he is so nice. He has so great sense of humor and he is as crazy as I am, so maybe we would not have so many big problems...? And I'm sure he would treat me nicely and would be so gentle to me.
Well, I think I need so much time to think and adjust to any big desicion what may come, I hope someday I'll be married to my prince ;)

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Crossings are open, but traders fear to ship products to Gaza because they don't know what sorts of products are allowed by Israel, second reason is; the crossings are still not fully open, Israel is delaying to open them. Many traders has also lost their products when Israel has confiscated them at the crossings.

In this time of truce Israel has killed four young man in West Bank.
Yesterday Israeli soldiers broke the leg of one peaceactivist, shot one man in the hand and beat up one farmer in front of his 8 year old daughter.

Sounds very peacefull and fair??

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I just got a short email from my dear friend. Their internet isn't available now at home and she didn't have time to explain more about it. One of her familymembers is taken by the Israelis and put to prison! I cannot even imagine what she is going thru now and her family too! I hope and pray they release him soon and that he is ok!

I think israel is trying to make the life of Palestinians so hard that they don't wan't to live there anymore!

I wonder what will be their next big move? I feel something will hapen soon..

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I still haven't heard from my friend. I'm scared of maybe something bad had happened to her..

I've heard from other people that Israel has poisoned some fields so the Palestinians will lose their harvest.
Very nice truce, right?
Also they shot dead another 17 year old boy, because of throwing rocks to Israeli army who intruded their village in northern West Bank.
Israeli army also went shooting to that other 17 year old boys funeral..

Now I wan't to write few words about some of us. Here in Northern Europe at least; and maybe in USA too; because I've notised a thing in some peoples believes.
We have this image of Palestinians as hostile people who continuously attack Israel on Israelis side.
I would like to correct this image a bit; Palestinians are not hostile people or stupid to harm them selves that way, why would they? If you would have time and interrest to see from internet for example, you will find that Palestinians do not attack Israel in Israelis side. They do not attack innocent Israel at all.
Israel is invading every day to towns, cities and villages in Palestinians territories and arresting people with no reason, destroying their homes, living and agriculture, stealing their land and killing innocent people. But for some reason they don't show us this side in the news!
And when the Palestinians defend them selves, their human rights; we see in the news hostile Palestinians attacking. And that is wrong! You all know that is wrong!
But some people don't wanna see the truth. Why??
Would it hurt too much to your heart too to admit that we have allowed this to happen for 60 years!
Would it hurt too much to admit that we have allowed innocent civilians suffer for 60 years infront of our eyes and we did nothing to stop it?
Yes; it hurts. To my heart it hurts so much!

I know maybe some of my friends or friends of my friends think me as a bad person to stand up for the people of Palestine. I know some people in my city don't wan't to have anything to do with me anymore because I'm standing on the side of the Palestinians.
Some people may think I've gone crazy. Some of them may even think me as a criminal or maybe even worse; as a terrorist.
Some of the people wonder, why is she on the side of terrorists?

But I know my conscience is clean. I know I'm doing the right thing. I know Palestinians are not terrorist. I know Islam is not religion of hate or war. I know there is not one right thing the Israelis do on the land of Palestine. I know you would think exact the same if you only would have courage to find the right information! If you would have the courage to question the "truth" what the sinlge sided media shows us. If you had the courage to stand against the majority and open your eyes to see the real truth!

Many people don't. Even if they do know the truth, they have no courage to say it out loud, because the image of terrorists Palestinians has been planted so deep in our minds that to say something opposite would instantly cost you the loss of your friends, your sanity, maybe even your social network. You wouldn't be "one of us" anymore, you'd be one of "them" the "terrorist lover" a bad person. Some people may even think you might go and blow up someplace..

So this is what I wan't to change!
I wan't all the world to know that the Palestinians are not terrorist, they are just ordinary people, families; trying to live their life in occupied, sieged land.
And many of them have born under the occupation, many of them have lost their homes. Many of them have lost a family member or many. All of them are tired and scared of the situation there, many of them suffer poverty because of the situation.

So I think it's inevitable to have conflicts between the Israel military and the Palestinians.
And I don't think it's a crime to defend their right to exist. Palsetinians have the right to live too!

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Meanwhile all the news concentrate on the truce the Israelis continue killing Palestinians and destroying all of their history by burning and digging up historical olive trees whitch are several hundreds of years old and goes all the way back to the Roman times!
Also regardless of what Israel promised to supply gasoline to Palestine, they havent, not as much as they promised anyway.
Yesterday they shot dead a 17 year old boy because people was throwing rocks towards Israelis heavy military invasion to their village.

To me the meaning of the word Israel is changing its meaning more and more. Once upon a time word Israel was something historical, but now it starts to represent more like what I recall nazism. Unfair military activism. Keeping themselves somehow supreme and permitted to do things what others would never be allowed to do!
Now the word Israel gives me the chills and brings to my mind at the first image of terror and scare. Nothing noble or historical in it. More like a stain in our world.

I wonder how they forgot the pain they them selves suffered not so long ago?
Maybe it wasn't so painfull at all??
Or maybe they wan't to revenge??

If you had witnessed such a mass demolition of a nation, would you do the same to someone else?
Or would you feel the pain like yesterday?
Could you let someone else to suffer the same thing??
I know I certainly couldnt! Even I'm not a jew nor have I suffered nothing like them did, I could never let anyone in this wotld to go thru anything like that again!
I have watched documentarys of that too, looked pictures from Auchwitch and read about that in school and from net and books.

As the nazis cold blooded shot kids and women, as they gave gas to them in death camps where was no escape; so the Israelis shoot Palestinian kids and women now in a country where is no escape out, no safe place to go!
Israelis kill civilians in to their own homes!
Whole land of Palestine is a big death camp! No one gets out!! Their home has turned into this big fencing where inside are the random targets of Israel!
Even unarmed foreign activists end up dead!
I wonder how Israel justifies that?

60 years of occupation..

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Again has gone few days not to hear from you my dear friend. I know the electricity is more and more cut there and maybe problems with the internet too, but I still worry about maybe something bad has happen...
I know Israel is arresting a lot of people too, I hope your family is safe and you too!

I had awful day today, my 12 year old daughter was out with her new mountainbike and she had left the bike somewhere to walk a little with her friends and locked the bike ofcourse, but when she got back the bike was gone!
Somebody tried to stole this same bike just a month or two ago, but failed.
My daughter called me and told the bike was gone, but I couldn't do anything about it because my other kid was sleeping at home and my car is broken too. So I went to my apartment's balcony where all my neighbours usually are and told them about the bike. One of my neighbours promised to watch over Miska, my 3 year old son and other borrowed his car and one of my neighbour's son came with me to search it.
We drove around and asked from many teenagers and after a while someone returned the bike to my daughter!
How lucky we are for that bike to be found!? Well, maybe it helped a bit that my neighbours son is very scary looking tattooed guy who was very very angry about the bike ;)
I hope this is the last time that bike is stolen!

Tomorrow Miska will go to his father for a sleepover and he promised to take Miska for a swim. I hope they have a good time!
I'm glad to have a freetime for my self. Maybe I use the time to train my dogs, haven't got time to do anything with them this summer.
One of my dogs is trained to search and rescue human's from different surroundings like forrests, waters, collapsed buildings and so on, but we didn't finish the training because I had too little time for that whitch truly was my dream and still is my dream to get to international rescue team and help so many people! But now I train them obediense and tracking of human.. Maybe someday we'll be back to rescue training!
Here he is in his working uniform :)

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My kids are sleeping and I have time for my thougts again. I went to this forum I'm at and there is this topic about countrys where we wish to visit.
One my friend expressed his frustration about their futures and careers in Palestine, what presumable isn't much if any.
This made me think about a lot of stuff, but the most about where you happen to be born. It really makes a direction in your life and is the most affective thing what can be in life.
If you are lucky, you will be born in a country like Finland or Canada, but if you are not so lucky you could be born in countrys like Palestine or Sudan. I'm not even sure if luck has anything to do with this, it's more like where has your family lived and where your parents are currently living.
Anyway; I think it shouldn't make so much difference where you happen to be born. Shouldn't all babies have equal rights to live and grow?
Well, unfortunately it aint happening in this world. In this world it makes a huge different if you happen to be born in a place like Palestine for example.
It's almost like new born babies are marked to their forehead by a mark whitch mean; you have no future. Only the most bravest and wildest persons may brake this doom by doing something outrageous to clear their way out of there, to someplace where life is worth living.

It is impossible for me to understand how my friend is feeling there, because in my clean and peacefull world is nothing to even compare to his. Sometimes talking with people from Palestine makes me feel so quilty; quilty to live here, safe, with no bigger sorrows or problems, just floating thru the days..

At nights when I go to bed I try to visualise the surroundings what they have there, thinking could I manage thru a one sinlge day there?
I cannot imagine in my head situations there, but I think maybe seeing and living that makes human mind and soul different somehow, because they have managed to live there and their mothers and fathers and sons and daughters..
How do they do that? How they survive to another day?
In my mind the answer is clear; they do not have a choice.

So here I am in peacefull coutry of Finland, raising my two children to be responcible adults someday and my biggest fear is if they happen to end up with wrong company and start to get in to troubles. To me that is actually the biggest fear and I'm trying my best to act as a good role model to them to prevent this to happen..
And when I think of mothers my age in Palestine..
What are their biggest fears? To lose their home if not already happened? To lose a child or maybe many? To lose your family? Living? I bet there are no room for worries of wrong company..
I think my biggest fear is not even a fear at all in Palestine. They would be happy if they had fears like mine as their biggest!
So again that makes me sad about the fact that all human are not equal in this beautiful world of ours.
I wish there was something I could do to change this...

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I have been so tired today and felt like I wanna do nothing! I have been thinking light stuff and heavy stuff, I've been thinking my own life too..
One of my friends is engaged now to a Palestinian man. I wish all the luck and love in the world to them!
This made me think my own situation.. I've been alone now more than three years. I think it starts to get me.
Here in Finland usually man and woman are pretty much equal, both are responcible of home and family and everything included to those.
I don't like that!
I like the Islam way; man is the leader of the family and makes the decisions with the help of his wife. I wish I had a man in my life in whos hands I could trust mine and my children's life. Someone who would share respocibilitys with me and who would keep us safe and take care of us. Someone who would let me be me and who would treat my like a princess. Maybe there is no man like that, maybe I only wanna be with my dreams?

Today my daughter came behind me when I was searching pictures from internet about Palestinian children. She saw some pic's of dead children and childrean with toy guns and Hamas ribbons on their heads. She wanted me to explain why some soldiers had masks and some didn't.
We had a talk about all of those things and about the truth hidden inside Palestine borders, then she asked me; why don't I tell the truth to everyone! And I told her about this blog. And she was happy that her mom trys to help these people! That made me so happy too!

I hope she grows up to be active person.
She already has declared as very very young age that she will save this planet, she will invent something to stop contamination of this planet and heating too ;)
I wish there were more kids like her.

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I was just reading my dear friends posts and what a powerfull poem that was; thank you dear!
I read about those 2 student boys from internet news this morning, what a tragedy again!
Yesterday I was surfing thru internet and reading all I could get from those foreign civilians who have been murdered by Israel and even the amount is very little compared to Palestinian lives, it was painful to read.
I found this site about children killed in both sides, Palestine and Israel, statistics monthly from both sides. http://www.rememberthesechildren.org It tells a story of it's own: total death's of Israeli children since year 2000 is 119 and Palestinian children 982 and that site was updated in february this year. That is more than 1000 innocent children killed in this!
And how many adults??
I read this morning the news, it said USA, Russia, EU and UN all demand Israel to stop building Jerusalem! I'm waiting to see if that happens. I read news from other sites and there I see the Israeli bulldozers started to raze agricultural lands in the village of Beit Hanina At-Tahta to construct a new part of the separation wall on the village lands and Israeli army bulldozers uprooted more than two hundred olive trees in north Jerusalem. Isn't this getting ready to build more settlements??
Seems that Israel doesn't care what the others say about their actions, it continues like a steamer unable to stop!
And how funny is that USA begs Israel to stop and with other hand it keeps Israel going!
When will the world see this two faced dilemma?
Will the world respond to that?

I read also news about Israel getting ready to attack Iran, missiles are fixed for nuclearheads and is planning "precautionary" attack against Iran's 6 nuclear plant, ofcourse with USA's silent authorization.
I wonder what happens to Iranian civilians?

I don't know if you have heard about guy named Nostradamus, but he made famous predictions about our worlds future, some people believe some of them has come true too. He predicted our wordl to see 3 very very evil leaders, one of them maybe was Napoleon. On of them maybe was Hitler. The third he predicted to come from the Middle East and to be the worse of them all. He is to lead our world to world war 3.
I don't know weather those predictions is to believe or not, but I do know that Israel and US seem to slowly and one by one to attack all the arab countrys in Middle East or that how it looks to me anyway.
I don't know what that means, I'm not a politician. And I don't know why they do so?
To me seems like USA is the disobedient brat of the world who has lost the control of it's rabies'd Rottweiler. And they say we are at war against terror? Yes we are, but who are we in this matter and who is the breeder of terror?

Some rulers in this world seems to think only they are allowed to have heavy weaponry and nuclear weapons. Only they have the right to be right. Only they have the right to defend them selves and only their people have human rights.

So, I ask again from my self; who is in suchs a position that can declare that a life born on this and that country is more valuable that a life born somewhere else? Who has the absolute truth of something that can say their way of life and living is better and more rightfull then someone elses? And I'm not even going to religions in this, because I believe everyone has the right to believe what ever they choose, it is not mine or enyone else's business to judge or say their are right or wrong!

I know some of our readers thinks this is a religious blog; I don't see much religion here.
I only see human rights, what should be to all human in this world, stamped deep in to the mud of our earth, so deep even the earth it self is crying out of the pain! But those leaders who are standing at the mountains now, do not care about it, they only wanna keep their mountains and stamp the little ones even more.

I hope and pray there will be a day when all of us could live in peace and equality on this planet. That we stop fighting about silly things and start to see the big picture.
We are all here on this relatively tiny planet and these fightings only shorten our planet's time. We all are aware of our planet's situation, about the fact that our planet is slowly heating up and dying and we don't have any place else to go.
So why wouldn't we all focus our energy and money on preventing that rather than fighting against eachother about something what at the end don't even matter? Who cares if Iran has nuclears? I'm sure they are not the ones who will fire them first! So let them have them so does many others!
Let's focus on NOT fireing them! Let's focus on the huge amount of money what USA spends on their and many others war craft, let's focus on spending them rather on planting trees to rain forrests to bring us more oxegyn and bind the carbon!
Let's focus on preventing the melting of the continental glacier and flooding the coasts of all countrys near the sea!
Shouldn't we all now take eachother's hands and start to save this small planet of our's rather than speeding it's doom?!

Who cares about our differences? I'm sure we all share the same thought to let our children and their children to live here, to have a planet to live?? Right?
I believe I can change the world! If you believe it also, then we are 2 who believe so. If we get one more to believe it, we are 3 and so on..
See; together we can save the world!
So what are we waiting for?!

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Today's morning breeze spread the smell of Eyyad's and Tareq's blood. the early morning hours before sun rise witnessed the Israeli army's movement toward a building in Nablus [a city in the West Bank] in where the 2 people were sleeping in different apartments. Eyyad 24 years old an active student in college who has never been "wanted" by Israeli forces opened the door of his apartment while the army was knocking it hard, he opened it... to receive more than 15 bullets straight in his upper body, he was supposed to graduate this summer but seems that his martyrdom came faster than his graduation certificate, he has 6 brothers and sisters and his eldest brother was to get married this Friday! ... another normal life ended in less than seconds! Eyyad could never had a chance of life after more than 15 bullets aimed at his head and chest from zero distance.
Tareq was in the apartment next to Eyyad's apartment, he was "wanted" by the Israelis with the crime... "believing that he can stand against Israel", a witness said "they took everyone outside, i was shocked my friend just died, but i could hear everyone... everyone shouting to the Israeli army that there is still another person in one of the apartments of the building, the Israeli army did nothing but shooting missiles to kill Tareq in cold blood!"
they didn't allow the medical staff to even try! are you blind? are you deaf? arent we humans with lives?! we're not puppets we're not lab rats, we're LIVING HUMAN BEINGS... simply WE ARE YOU, how hard is that to understand?! while the army withdrew from the area they turned the dead corps to the medical staff ... what an ironic ending. maybe the truce was just a break to focus on assassinating some people in the West Bank, anything is expected from Israel, anything is allowed for Israel simply because as what the prime minister of Israel always says followed by the U.S. president as always "Israel is defending it's right to exist", what about Eyyad's right to exist or Tareq or the millions of our children or even my family... what will happen to us? or is it O.K. for us to be killed?! how come, aren't we you? so is it alright for you to be killed?!
Oh Rachel Corrie i wish if you are here to help me with the words and shout how barbaric and cruel this is, i cant but quote "We are all born and someday we’ll all die. Most likely to some degree alone.What if our aloneness isn’t a tragedy? What if our aloneness is what allows us to speak the truth without being afraid? What if our aloneness is what allows us to adventure – to experience the world as a dynamic presence – as a changeable, interactive thing?"
tell me ... is my love to Palestine a crime punished by death?! if yes; then call me a criminal with death penalty expecting it anytime leaving my life in God's Hands, proud of it all!
seems that all i wrote is questions, wonders swimming in my brain, will they ever find the shore? will they ever be answered? or will they disappear one day? more questions for i don't know any more logic! i wish if this whole thing is just a bad dream ... unfortunately that's impossible.

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I am still reading all I can get about these poor people who has been brutally murdered by Israel. As I was guessing, Rachel was not the only one. After Rachel Israel had shoot dead one Brittish cameraman James Miller in conditions what shows that this killing was actually a murder. I have a link to a BBC site about that.
I will borrow some of their texts here:

"The British cameraman James Miller was shot dead by an Israeli sniper as he left a house in Rafah with two other journalists on the night of May 2. An Associated Press TV News (APTN) cameraman filmed the entire scene.

One of the three journalists held a white flag; Miller was shining a light on the flag and a third journalist held up her British passport. There was no shooting and the area was quiet as the audio track of the film clearly proves.

The three had walked about 60 feet toward an Israeli armed personnel carrier to request safe passage to leave the area when the first shot was fired. "We are British journalists," Saira Shah cried out into the darkness.

"Then comes the second shot, which killed James," Sweeney wrote. "He was shot in the front of his neck. The bullet was Israeli issue, fired, according to a forensic expert, from less than 200 meters [600 feet] away."

The IDF maintains that Miller was shot during crossfire, although no shooting is heard on the APTN tape apart from the two shots fired from the Israeli military vehicle.

When the APTN tape was shown to an Israeli soldier, who is shown in the film, he said the television team did not look like Islamic terrorists and concluded: "That's murder."

"British photographer Tom Hurndall, 22, was left brain dead after being shot in the head by an Israeli soldier on April 11. British cameraman James Miller, 34, was shot by an Israeli sniper as he left a house with two other journalists on May 2. "

"The three international observers died, or nearly died, at the hands of the Israeli military between the middle of March and the first week of May. Hurndall was shot in the head as he took a Palestinian toddler, who had frozen under Israeli fire, into his arms."

The eye witnesses and all the evidence speak out the truth of Israel's brutality, they do not care weather the circumstances are peacefull or the people are foreign, they kill who ever they think is on their way to their goal!

I found these websites of Tom Hurndall, the photographer who was shot in the head leaving him brain dead: http://www.tomhurndall.co.uk/index.html

I also found one more victim, Brian Avery http://electronicintifada.net/v2/article1336.shtml

Brian experienced serious wounds to his face after Israeli troops shot at him with heavy machine gun fire from an armoured personnel carrier.
I borrow some of the text from that site here:

"At the sight of the armoured vehicles both activists stood still and raised their hands above their heads. When the first armoured personnel carrier was 50 metres from them it fired a burst of machine gun fire (an estimated 15 rounds) at the ground in front of them so that they were sprayed by a shower of broken bullets and stones. Tobias, Brian's companion, leapt aside. He had fled about three steps when he looked back to see Brian lying face down on the road in a pool of blood."

"Shootings of Palestinian civilians are regularly reported as "accidental", the result of "crossfire", and Israeli spokespersons occasionally even express regret for these killings. However, experience with similarly patterned events on the ground and the frequency at which they have been occurring during the Second Intifada, force any empirical observer to conclude that killings are a typical feature of the Israeli army's operations. The current Intifada death toll -- 2,220 -- and injury statistics -- 22,308 --, and the circumstances of these acts of violence, as reported by medical authorities, reflect a rate of killing and injury far too high to be credibly explained as "accidental". "

"For those of us who have lived as eyewitnesses in the West Bank or Gaza Strip, it is not news that Israeli troops regularly shoot at people without there being any genuine clashes or any legitimate threat to the soldier that would necessitate self defence. This fact is well documented by numerous human rights groups on the ground. It is also one of the expected consequences of maintaining a military occupation of a civilian population for over one-third of a century -- the dehumanisation of the occupied people by the occupying army. "

Again these documents and pictures leaves me speachless.
Also these all proves me what I have been guessing, Israel do murder people on purpose and there are also witnesses to that, but somehow nothing is to be done to this matter!
So who allowas them to do so? And what is their goal? Im sure it won't end to this truce?? What happens next?

"Well the list of shot by Israel maybe endless, because from this site only I found so many more; Caoimhe Butterly was shot in the leg in Jenin. On the same day as Butterly was shot, Israeli troops shot and killed British national Iain Hook.

German doctor Harald Fischer and Italian cameraman Rafaeli Ciriello were both also killed by Israeli gunfire during the Intifada. Several others internationals have been injured by Israeli fire."

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I'm reading her last letter's to her family in the USA, what we recieved from a special person who had access to these letters and kindly posted them as comments to my last post. Thank you!
I'm reading the same things what I hear from my friends all the time. Rachel's concernes were the same as mine and so many others are now.
Nothing has changed.
I also read about the same amazing kindness what lies in Palestinian's hearts no matter how much they have suffered they have this amazing power and gift to find strenght and happiness in their everyday life! Their hospitality and caring from a foreign person while their own lives and homes are being destroyed!
That amazed Rachel and it amazes me too. There must be a lot of angels among Palestinians!

Rachel was a brave woman! She came from the other side of the world to defend Palestinian civilians against Israeli military force from stealing their land and systematic destroyal of their infrastructure.
She witnessed the cruelty of this world and Israel and US convernment.
But her fragile body was crushed under one of Israelis bulldozers what Caterpillar kindly sells and delivers to them despite of knowing Israel uses them to demolish Palestinian civilians homes and living.
I'm afraid she is not the only one lost her life under those armored heavy machines. I wonder how many Palestinian lifes have been lost in that same horrible way?

I wanna borrow pieces from her letters here:


"..three checkpoints between here and Ashkelon (the closest city in Israel) make what used to be a 40-minute drive, now a 12-hour or impassible journey. In addition, what Rafah identified in 1999 as sources of economic growth are all completely destroyed - the Gaza international airport (runways demolished, totally closed); the border for trade with Egypt (now with a giant Israeli sniper tower in the middle of the crossing); access to the ocean (completely cut off in the last two years by a checkpoint and the Gush Katif settlement). The count of homes destroyed in Rafah since the beginning of this intifada is up around 600, by and large people with no connection to the resistance but who happen to live along the border. I think it is maybe official now that Rafah is the poorest place in the world. There used to be a middle class here - recently."

"And then the bulldozers come and take out people's vegetable farms and gardens. What is left for people? Tell me if you can think of anything. I can't."

"..that soldiers and tanks and bulldozers could come for us at any moment and destroy all the greenhouses that we had been cultivating for however long, and did this while some of us were beaten and held captive with 149 other people for several hours - do you think we might try to use somewhat violent means to protect whatever fragments remained?"

"You asked me about non-violent resistance.

When that explosive detonated yesterday it broke all the windows in the family's house. I was in the process of being served tea and playing with the two small babies. I'm having a hard time right now. Just feel sick to my stomach a lot from being doted on all the time, very sweetly, by people who are facing doom."

"Honestly, a lot of the time the sheer kindness of the people here, coupled with the overwhelming evidence of the wilful destruction of their lives, makes it seem unreal to me. I really can't believe that something like this can happen in the world without a bigger outcry about it. It really hurts me, again, like it has hurt me in the past, to witness how awful we can allow the world to be."

"This is what I am seeing here. The assassinations, rocket attacks and shooting of children are atrocities - but in focusing on them I'm terrified of missing their context. The vast majority of people here - even if they had the economic means to escape, even if they actually wanted to give up resisting on their land and just leave (which appears to be maybe the less nefarious of Sharon's possible goals), can't leave. Because they can't even get into Israel to apply for visas, and because their destination countries won't let them in (both our country and Arab countries)."

"After I wrote to you I went incommunicado from the affinity group for about 10 hours which I spent with a family on the front line in Hi Salam - who fixed me dinner - and have cable TV. The two front rooms of their house are unusable because gunshots have been fired through the walls, so the whole family - three kids and two parents - sleep in the parent's bedroom. I sleep on the floor next to the youngest daughter, Iman, and we all shared blankets."

"I know that the situation gets to them - and may ultimately get them - on all kinds of levels, but I am nevertheless amazed at their strength in being able to defend such a large degree of their humanity - laughter, generosity, family-time - against the incredible horror occurring in their lives and against the constant presence of death. I felt much better after this morning. I spent a lot of time writing about the disappointment of discovering, somewhat first-hand, the degree of evil of which we are still capable. I should at least mention that I am also discovering a degree of strength and of basic ability for humans to remain human in the direst of circumstances - which I also haven't seen before. I think the word is dignity. I wish you could meet these people. Maybe, hopefully, someday you will.

Rachel"

I'm happy for having to read her letters; to know her a little bit by this. I hope the world doesn't forget her and I hope someday the ones responcible of her death will be condemned.

Maybe someday we get the statistics whitch show us how many lifes has this battle cost between Israel and Palestine or Israel and all the other arab countrys.
Maybe someday someone says it is enough?

The world seem not to care the lives of Palestinians, maybe they care of one of their own?

Rachel; your memory will never die, you will be in the hearts of the Palestinians forever! You are a hero!

Dedicated to a 23 year old peace activist who was killed on March 16, 2003 when she was crushed by a bulldozer on the Gaza Strip

Rachel Corrie Memorial Website http://www.rachelcorrie.org/

Rachel's Words: http://www.rachelswords.org/

Rachel Corrie Foundation http://rachelcorriefoundation.org/

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I started my morning by watching a video about activists in Palestine whitch included few pictures of Rachel after she had been ran under bulldozer but before she had died. You find the video here.
Again this lefts me speachless, but I cannot be quiet. I feel I have to write something for Rachel and her actions what is the most brave thing to do what the world would ever know!
She stood in front of a Palestinian home while the Israelis wanted to destroy it with bulldozer. She didnt move and the bulldozer driver saw her standing there but continued to drive towards her and over her and the bulldozers blade smashed her and after a while she was dead.
I do not have words!
Rachel was a brave woman and she had the courage to stand against Israel and the injustice what they do. I hope the world would remeber her and the courage she had!
Rachel; you are my hero! Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun. I wish you have peace and happiness where ever you are now..

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I saw today horrible torture photos from Abu Ghraib prison.
Again, I have no words..

This is how we spread our truth to the world..

Who is the terrorist in this...?

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..the more I see the news and actions of Israel, the more I belive Israel is the biggest terrorist of all times, not only towards Palestine, but towards so many countrys who they have attacked and where they have done killings and tortures and humiliated people without any mercy.
And the more I find these storys, pictures, news; the more I believe we; the white christian people are the most evil, retarded, savage and stupid of all. We think our way of thinking is the only right one, the best one. We think our rules and believes are the best ones, the true ones. But we have no idea, in our big thinking of freedom; we have no idea of real freedom. The freedom of be who you are! Why do we want to FORCE the rest of the world to be like us, to act like us, to believe like us??!! WHERE IS THEIR FREEDOM??? Who are we to decide this is the right way, this is the true way? Why can't we let others be as they are??
Maybe they have the right way too.. You all should think of that!

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Oh, I'm so happy to read about my friends posts!
Today I have been very angry, my car is broken and this morning I planned to have biiig cleaning day but my washing machine went broken too. So my day was ruined.
But just a few minutes ago I was chating with one frined from Gaza and he reminded me about real concerns, like family and friends; my family and friends are all alive and feeling great! We all have homes etc. So little trouble with transportation or washing clothes shouldn't ruin a day of anyone!
So, I try to forget that now and be happy for what I have!
And I'm happy for the truce too! I hope Israel wouldn't start any new wars with anyone and I hope they would stop building own homes on Palestine land too! Maybe that is too big wish, but I still pray for that..
I am in a hurry, I have to go walk my dogs. I will come back later to read and write more iA. Salam my friend and thank God you are allright!

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21th of June
Today the hit was the news of Israel preparing itself to attack Iran, i'm starting to wonder why the truce was made! i dont want to start with my own conclusions and personal thoughts i just want to say that it seems that a new world war is on the doors of the middle east, the things that are occupying most of our days here are ..war, war, and more war!
here you can find more detailed news about Israel's plan which is not very clear... at least not to me!
away from the news.. I'm reading a book today, it's by Joachim Fernau, the original title of the book is "Halleluja-die Geschichte der USA" in German but i cant find it in English, in Arabic it's titled رحمتك يا الله"". at this time I'm reading it in Arabic to better understand it. this book is something like I've never read before, it's an open source of American history from the author's point of view [who is German], i think everyone in this world should read it only because it's a "different" point of view that not many know about, my intention is not to promote this book here but it is to request from you to try open your eyes to see the whole picture from different point of views and not only the one that the media planted in you, even if you may not agree with everything...read to grow better. in the beginning of that book page 12 i read in what it means; "the 16th century witnessed a huge turning point; native Indians -whom the white person started to exterminate the areas where they hunted for food- learned hatred of the white person which made their extinction something definite and became a barrier between them and saving themselves, and turning easily into servants! instead of giving up their homes in a liberal way, thinking in a rational way or relaxing, the Indians did something that cost them their lives; they believed in their right, so can you imagine something like that!"
it seems that history is repeating itself in a similar way here in Palestine, growing under the oppression of the occupation [sometimes without parents] and facing humility and torture by Israeli soldiers; opened the door of hatred and more violence on this holy land. let's pray that someday it will end for good, let's pray for mercy on the world that held us if not on the human beings who are our brothers and sisters in humanity!
my friend; i miss your news, i ask my Lord that you and your family are in all health and happiness, i cant wait to read how your days went by.

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20th of June
tonight i can see the moon perfectly sparkling in the night sky, it's beautiful. and tonight we have electricity .
i have three younger sisters, we all sleep in one room, my youngest sister gets scared of the dark so we don't turn off the light around bed time when we have electricity or we keep the candles burning when we don't have electricity. it's almost midnight and she's been asleep since the time that the birds went to sleep in, i want to turn off the light because the moon is reflecting the sun's light which will lighten our room in a way that makes me feel as if I'm sleeping on a could, with the sky as the roof, no walls around and the breeze of the night whispering life. tonight there is no shooting, but there is a campaign of arresting some people all over the west bank...i guess that wasn't part of the truce! at the same time Israel is preparing some laws to take over more territories in Jerusalem. i haven't seen Jerusalem for five years now, i really miss it, i miss praying there, i miss my friends, i miss my family members who live there. people who hold a green I.D are not allowed to go to Jerusalem...another discrimination tactic. those who hold a Jerusalem I.D. are threatened by Israeli forces to take it away from them in the attempt of making Jerusalem a Judaic state, the rate of withdrawing I.Ds from Jerusalem residents has increased to 500% since the start of it all in 1995. the Israeli government wont allow anyone to construct their homes, or leave them [so you can not go to the west bank nor have a house out of the country] if you do any of that your ID as a citizen in Jerusalem will be taken away! oh talking about Jerusalem is not an easy thing, it's more complicated than talking about this whole universe. tonight I'm thankful that i have a chance to sleep under the moon's light rather than helicopters'.

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The past couple of days i didn't have regular access to the internet. I'm afraid i got my friend to worry again. since i didn't have internet to post what i write i thought about typing what goes around and now here i am posting the thoughts and events of the past couple of days.

19th of June:
today is the first day of the truce, a basic understanding of the truce would be saying no shooting from any side, it's a way to calm down the situation specially in Gaza which has been under siege for more than a year by now [started 15-6-07] carrying 180 souls , thousands immigrated, 85% of citizens became under poverty line, 96% of factories were closed, 67 thousands of factories employees became unemployed, estimation of one billion of economical loss... and more that the sky has witnessed this passed year. i do not think such a truce would make children forget that they lost their parents or their beloved ones, or would return to Ahmad the legs he lost during one of the strikes on the strip but i pray and i hope it would give for those who survived some peace... even if temporary!
the truce was suppose to be active at 6:00 a.m Palestine's time [3:00 a.m. GMT] and thank God it did. before that and at about 3:00 a.m. our time [12:00 a.m.GMT] the Israeli air forces striked a place in south Gaza killing one person and wounding more than four, some in a very critical situation that's without mentioning the financial loss of such a strike [i.e. buildings and shops in the area of the strike]. i was wondering... does anyone else have the same right to kill as the one that Israel has?! i dare you to find one. it just seems that Israel is happy with the idea of assassination!
in 2004 a prominent rabbi supported the killings of Palestinian civilians by Israeli occupation troops in the Gaza Strip, saying killing non-Jewish civilians is compatible with religious laws!!! that was Rabbi Dov Lior, Chairman of the Jewish Rabbinical Council, quoted as saying "during warfare, killing non-Jewish civilians is permitted if it saves Jewish lives" in other words he's saying that Jewish lives are more important than non-Jewish lives. i wish if i could ask him; aren't we all sons and daughters of Adam and Eve created by the same God?!
it is very sad to speak in God's name in approving the killing of His creation. one of the main commandments of the Torah is 'thou shall not murder'. God is Most merciful, i do not think such mercy would allow such murder and God knows best!
i don't know what else to say ... hopefully things would get better now.

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I have no idea about my friend.
I haven't heard about her again in few days.
I think they have no electricity there now.
Also internet isn't working anymore even as barely as it was before.
Israel does that to punish the Palestinians.
It lefts me speachless....

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I've heard there might be truce now between Palestine and Israel. I've also heard there is no electricity or internet now in Palestine. Maybe truce means no shooting but all other ways of controlling Palestine is even more in use now?
I'm little bit disappointed now. I hope they could soon live better life there!

I'm going to the mosque today with Finnish Muslim sisters to learn basics of arabic writing. I'm very exited and cannot wait! My kids come with me this time, I hope they are not so wild there as they are at home!! I also go to my citys market place to buy some fruits and vegetables because we have midsummer here this weekend and I promised to go to my friends and neighbours house to barbeque and celebrite that.
I have had this idea of picture collection of our sunset at midsummer because my friends from other countrys have never seen sunset like we have here at midsummer. Up north at Lappland it would look amazing because sun dont go down at all for the whole night, it's called nightless night, but here at south as I live at the bottom of Finland by the sea, here the sun goes down for a while, but it comes up after short while and I wish to take pictures of that and make a collection of them to show how it actually happens! So I'm exited to see if I can manage it as I hope or not.
I miss my friends from Palestine.. I haven't heard from them again in two days I think.. I hope you all are ok there and you are safe and healthy!
I am thinking of you all the time and praying all the best for you too. I hope I see you online soon to hear the latest news from there and to see you are ok :)
I'll go get ready now to leave to the market...

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Tonight when I opened this blog to write, I have nothing in my mind. But I wanna write something, because maybe someone is waiting for new post! And I don't wanna fail that someone.
So I will tell you what I did today.
In my city was a rainy day, very dark and very wet, but I was out few times still. This was much colder rain than usually in summer time and that's why I don't like it much, but the nature and plants love it so I have to like it too!

One of my friends from Palestine asked me to talk with mic today and I hate it so much! I'm so shy and it feels so weird, but I did it anyway. And at the end it was fun and nice to hear someones voice from so far and was nice to make that person happy too!
I heard maybe there will be truce soon. I truly hope so!
I got an answer from this politician lady who I wrote email to yesterday. She is one of my countrys EU person and I expressed to her my concern about EU and Isralei relation. She answered me quickly and very good answer too. And she wrote Eu primeministers had criticized Israel of building those settlements and braking humanrights too! I hope all goes well for Palestinians and I hope there could be peace one day and forever!
Palestine is in my prayers and all my friends even more...

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Today I had just one ordinary day here in Finland, that includes hanging with my kids and dogs and going out with them , cleaning my home, cooking food etc.. and then my mom came to visit me and took me shopping. It is always nice to go with her because it means I get something little to my self too!

One of my friends who is Palestinian too sent me some pictures of his home town and a 6 months old baby girl who was killed in one of Israelis attacks.
I opened the pictures what showed me a lifeless little body of this girl, her face, her wounds, all of her. I saw picture of her griefing father next to her white body and face what didnt look calm and peacefull but more like she had been suffering and agony before the life ran out of her.
Maybe someone of her town had thrown a rock towards Israeli soldiers or fired a rocket to Israelis side or maybe Israelis just had a bad day and felt like to shoot towards the place where she had been.
I don't know the circumstances of that incidence, but I do know this could have been prevented if the world would have any heart towards the nation of Palestine.

Most of the westerns think it is Palestinians fault this war.
I ask; what are they guilty for? To be born there centuries ago? Or to be born there today? Are they guilty of not giving up or maybe guilty of resisting Israel?
Does Israel have any legal right to take this land?
What ever the reason is, legal or not, who ever is guilty to what ever; there never will be a reason or justification to focus any violence or war activity to civilians what has been happening there every single day for years now!

The soldiers change there, some of them are there for few months, some of them longer, but the people of Palestine are living there since they are born till they die. What kind of a life is that? To them it is normal life, to me it is hell on earth and what makes it even worse then hell is there is no devil punishing the people, there are people; humans punishing other humans, torturing, humiliating, controlling and exploiting with out any mercy; any sympathy towards it's own kind, without any human feelings..

Their conscience don't feel any regret when they destroy a house of a family. They don't feel remorse or emphaty when they see mothers, fathers, childrens, infants, grandmoms and grandpaps leaving without any shelter, any food, any clothing, any humanity..
Many families lose all they have, their land, their plantation, their home, their posessions leaving them only what they can possibly find from the ruins of what once was their home.
Why they do this? Why they destroy the other's property to build up their own houses instead? Is their posessings more valuable then the others? Are they intitled to something more then we; the rest of the world?
I have no understanding on what they do. And the more I study this subject; the more I only have questions because the more I learn, the more I see the Israelis as criminals.

I havent spoken to my friend today. Again there is cuts in electricity I think. Or maybe they have been attacked again?
I hope you are alright and your family too. I hope your town has been calmer now days. I hope you have strenght to go thru this, to live your life there as full as you can. I cannot even imagine the days you see and live. I can only hope that God has given you strenght and vitality to not sink under this overwhelming misery and see something happy and joyfull in your days. If I could send you happiness and energy I would give you all I have! If I could take away your pain and sorrow I would absorb it all inside of me untill I was heavy as the lead. If I could give you one day of my life I would do it in a heart beat! If I could stop this exploitation I would do anything in my power to do it!
But there is only little one can do and I promise from my heart I'll try to do my best in it! I can only hope and pray it helpes even little...

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Disbelief is sneaking to my heart and filling it slowly up one bit by another..
What I read from the news aimed to western world I see positive writings about peace negotiations and thoughts of Palestinian state and so on, but when I dig up news straight from Palestine I see even more violence happening now, even more towns facing brutality, both Gaza and West Bank are under severe attacks towards both people and building. So may lifes is lost in these few days, so many injuries, so many little innocent spirit has seen much violence, lost and sorrow. And someone has the nerve to lie infront of the whole world about cease-fire?!
My eyes are trouble to believe what I see and my heart feels great agony for this!
Im so sorry for the children of Palestine; to grow up believing the whole world has forgotten them. Im so sorry for all the people in Palestine to represent Europe and Finland who seem not care.
If only the leaders of the world knew what I know, or if only the public here at west knew what I know; then they might pressure Israel to stop.
I can only hope that this diary is good and people reads this gladly, even though stories here usually are not so happy, but the more we have readers the more someone is thinking of Palestine and the more opinions change and people talk about this and maybe someday most of people would stand on the side of peace and justice and this exploitation and killing would end.
That is all I wish for..

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around 2 a.m. last night i got a chance to sleep. after 2 hours of terrorizing and shooting on people, the Israeli army decided to leave our town with nothing.
i do not know why they came last night, there's suppose to be a truce with the Egyptian side as a mediator with an agreement that things would be calm with no shooting from any side. i was hoping things would get better but seems that it's all the same if not even worse. I'm feeling tired today and worried maybe. i read what my friend posted about her ex, it really is disturbing what people would do to harm other people, i wish if i can be of any help to you my friend, i'm afraid all i can do is pray, you deserve all good... you are in my prayers.
those who are in position to make decisions are closing their eyes and shutting their hearts and minds from accepting reality. well here is a reality that needs to be seen; there are thousands of Palestinian women and men and children in Israeli prisons, around 50% of these prisoners are minors! this is a case that everyone should pay attention to, the suffering that these children face everyday, the torture they go through is unbearable. you fought for animals rights and gained that, you can help us practice our human rights, rights that are already been declared! children are prisoners... in what law is this acceptable?! or is it that Israel makes laws that govern the whole world now?!
imagine if this is happening to your own son or daughter, imagine if it's happening to your mother of sister... will you accept it?!

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Good morning oh my home, oh you who is a flower enlightening in April
good morning to your wounds, oh who's blood decorated walls
good morning to the street, the district the school and the mosque.
good morning to those who are out to face the forces of the oppressor.
good morning to your eyes ... oh you are my eye.
morning of victory who's name is Palestine.
morning of glory who has an address.
morning of the wound from Sabra and Qana, morning of being patient on diaspora.
morning of return, to Jafa, Akka, Gaza... to Palestine.

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i don't know if i will be successful using words this night or not, but i want to try.
anger is overcoming me this time, a lot of people had been killed these days in Gaza,a lot has been captured by Israelis with the crime of defending Palestine...even by words! while an Israeli decision [supported by many foriegn powers] has been made to build more than 1300 house units in western Jerusalem Israel is announcing a "new" large scale military break-in operation in Gaza. i say that is just a way to draw the media's attention away from the crimes that are really happening in Gaza every day! what media attention when i open NBC news home page and see nothing in detail about what is happening here?! what media attention when i see the msn featured story is about the latest news of some Hollywood celebrity?!
it's been long since we've been wishing for good news, very long. by saying this i am only trying to bring attention to a land eager for some. this is the holy land where once peace was an example. I'm only hurt that Palestine and Palestinians children and elderly are hurting, young lives are slipping away, i do smile just by being on this land, being part of it trying my best to help heal the wound, learning something new everyday from those who fall from those who live and survive. i read that my friend loves nature... i do love nature too and i smile watching birds flying around building their nests on our house's window, from the top of our mountain here i can see eagles too, they fly higher than the mountain as if they touch the sky, watching them makes me feel happy, they are survivor creatures, they are freedom lovers..and that shows me greatness, a greatness this land has witnessed.
this may seem silly but since i was a kid i always wanted to fly and watch earth from above with no checkpoints, no borders... just land and water, i wonder how it feels for eagles, well i may never know but i sure wanna try to imagine that. when we were kids and when any Israeli attack happen my mother used to tell us to put our hands on our ears while she would start singing loud so we sing loud too, doing that i managed to clear my mind as if i freeze time with only one picture .. my mom singing, activate my flying imagination in what so called "my own world" just to forget what i hear... now i do not want to forget i do not want to close my ears nor keep silent, it is time to shout! this is my God given right. where i live it is suppose to be area A which means it is all under Palestinian authority, in other words it should be "safe" without any Israeli interfering, still the Israeli army comes and goes every time they wish to take anyone, or destroy any house, or just stop us from leaving our houses. i do not know when our time will come but i know that we do not sit down waiting for our time to come, because we love life we try our best to live it, we try to make sure that our kids would have a chance, we go to school, we work, we sell and buy, we strive together, we enjoy nature and we pray for peace. it does make me angry when i see my people dying, my sisters and brothers suffering... it makes me angry because i am a human being with feelings! there is nothing to be ashamed of, what we are is something that we can never change but who we are is the thing that will always change, be ashamed of who you are not not of who you are. awaken!
a lot of images are knocking the doors of my brain now but i'll have to answer that some other time, now it passed 12 a.m. at this very moment i hear bombing around the area and i'm off to see what is going on. my friend if you are reading this please dont worry, by God's will i hope to talk to you soon.

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Some people say that things are getting better in Palestine, but my friend hasnt been online except for a little while, they have no electricity again! Also I read about news and so many people has been killed in these few days and so many has been captured and so many homes has been smashed..
I feel sad for Palestine.
The security fence or wall or what ever they wanna call it; Israel keeps moving it further and further to Palestine and "eating" their land and building homes for Israeli people.
I have read that the Israelis say the reason why they take the Palestinian land is the Palestinians don't have proper ownership certificate to the land what has been their familys for centurys or decades.. by that reason anyone could hijack have of the lands on this planet!
It's not fair at all..
Maybe the world is scared of Israel? Or maybe they are hated all around the world and no one wants them to live as neighbours? Or maybe this is once again one big injustice what we humans let happen infront of our eyes and do nothing about it.
For 60 year has Israel and Palestine fought about the land of Palestine. But who has the right to live there? There is no easy answer to that question.. But I think it should be solved peacefully and by someone who is neutral to both countrys.

Im happy that I saw my friend quickly last night online, well I'm happy that she was ok and her family too, but that was maybe the only good news in her town. Other people and familys had faced lot's of grief and many lifes had lost too.
For me yesterday was an ordinary day, nothing big happened here yesterday.
Today wasn't that good; my ex husband found me from one online community and asked access to my kids album. Ofcourse he has the right to see it and I will give him the access; I just am afraid he might destroy my life once again as he did 3,5 years ago. I have never recovered from that and the scars what was left in me has never healed. I haven't had a relationship after him, what is very unusual here in Finland, and I think I never can have an average relationship again because of the trauma he caused me what is with me every day and I'm afraid it will never go away too..

Sometimes I wonder.. If one human can cause so big trauma to one family with few minutes of violence and rage, what can a whole army cause to one human or one village with many days or years of violence? Do they ever recover from that? Is there anyone helping them to recover? Do they have the same right to live normal and safe life as we do? Who is to decide whos life is more valuable then the others?

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I didnt see my friend online yesterday. Maybe they didnt have elecricity? That means the conditions in work places like hospitals etc has been difficult again..
It's hard to think about those kind of conditions what Palestnians have to confront almost every day.
To me my yestardays most exiting moment was to dry myself to my new extra soft towel after shower!
This thing would not be in my mind if I would be living my life in occupied Palestine..

I love nature, I love early mornings and to wake up when birds are singing.. I wonder if there are any birds in Palestine? Maybe all they hear is helicopters and guns? Crying? Desperate voices and noises of war equipment.. Maybe the conditions are unbearable to even animals? But yet the brave people of Palestine are forced to live their lives-, raise their children-, take care of their old- and sick ones in conditions where no human or animal cannot survive without losing a bit of their heart every day. Children have no childhood like our children, young ones do not grow to be adults like our young ones and young adults dont look forward to marry and raise a family of their own like we do here.

Palestinian children grow up fast, they grow up surrounding by soldiers, hatred, demolition, fear, sorrow, unceratinty and all others inhuman conditions what we cannot even imagine here.
There is no childhood or growing from young to adult, children grow up fast to defend their land, to fight the occupier. There are no hope of a husband or wife and a car and a house, there is only hope to survive to the next day and if the next day come, maybe there is hope not to feel hunger that day.
I hope my dear friend that everything is ok with you. I hope you show up online today and tell me it was only the electricity what kept you away from the net. I hope your town has been quiet and no one has suffered there today.I hope you have had reasons to smile today instead of crying. I hope you have the strength to still hope for a better day to come. I hope you are alive.

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Last night my mind was so empty I couldnt think of anything to write..
I had a change to talk with my friend yesterday and heard about what had happen in their town.
we all know about Americans and how they capture suspected terrorists and keep them in places like Guantamo for indefinite time.
Israel does the same..
Israel had rushed to a town and captured people and took them to a place what no one knows. Among the people they took was fathers, brothers and sons of someone.
Israel takes prisoners by the reason of them being a treath to them. A treath can mean only talking about free Palestine and something like that.
To Israel it doesnt matter if the "treath" is young or old, with family or alone, girl or a boy, they take who ever they wants and keeps them as long as they wants!
If the prisoners is his or her familys only one who has a job; the rest of the family will suffer hunger, but Israel doesn't care a thing like that.
Many humanrights activists and organisations has judged USA for Guantanamo and places like that, they must also judge Israel for the same thing. And maybe they have, but we dont get much information about things in Palestine.

I hope from all my heart for this diary to reach all corners of this world and open eyes to these unfair actions what take place in Palestine every single day!
And I know; someday; we all judge people who have done this, as we judged what happened in Rwanda year 1994. And we shouldnt forget anyone, we are all creation of God and we are all as precious, no matter what religion or color we are!

We westerns tend to think we are more intelligent then the others, but we are not. Our fiction of our intelligence blindes us from seeing the fact that we are even more brutal then the others. We let someone to modify our image of Palestinians and other nations in similar situation, we believe the news about defence against terrorism and don't see the true side of that "terrorism". We westerns seem not to have mind of our own, we blindly approve one sides story as the truth and condemn the other without any evidence or hearing! And we call our selves intelligent :D
Sometimes, now even more and more, I feel ashamed to be Finnish, to be white, to be European. The more i know, the more I'm ashamed..

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Last night was cold, the fog covered the hells around, even though our houses are next to each other you can hardly see the neighborer's house, i guess that's why she was standing by the window looking into nothing. she was worried... a lot has been going on lately, a lot is on her shoulders, she's a mother, she has responsibilities... duties. she's not bothered by that, that was never the problem. the problem is that she ran out of food!
she was waiting for her salary this month, teaching for 24 years is not nothing, she needs the salary, her salary is the only income of the house. she was very excited during the day thinking that everything is going to be better. a tear dropped holding the picture of a promise she made to her youngest with a smile "i will get you some sweets today".now she knows that she shouldn't expect tomorrow to come, she shouldn't wait. in the morning she woke up strong to face the day that has came, she thought "maybe if i asked Mrs.Ibrahim i would find some extra money with her" but that wont work because Mrs.Ibrahim too is in need. so she borrowed a 100 nis from one neighbor across the street and 50 nis from another to get some food in the house and give her daughter money to go to school. my eyes witnessed that with tears and a shy smile.
the salaries are late again, hopefully they wont be late forever, Israel is holding the salaries because it is afraid that they go to some Hamas people, she is not from Hamas she's just a mom in need. a mother who hid her pain from her kids 3, 10 , 6, 18 years old, a mother who needs her earn to feed a family!
her only comfort is that her life, her kids' lives and sustenance are in the hands of God only, she has faith in God!

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